Think Like an Awakened African Woman: Resilience. Faith. Self-Awareness (Part one)

Part one

We are transient beings, chosen to heal & restore. From birth, we are interconnected, our lives a miracle. Raised by a village, I learned to align my mind & body to serve my spirit, embracing integrity.

Growing up in Ethiopia, I thrived in an international school, embracing education, sports, & friendships. At home, I felt protected, loved and nurtured by my fathers, neglected by a fragmented family, made to fear the world by my mothers, constantly compared to my older sister who was a people pleaser, constrained by a society limited to outdated institutions that did not serve me in the 20s century. Drawn to knowledge, nature, creativity, spirituality, joy, laughter, art, & freedom, I rebelled against rigid expectations, finding solace in my inner world in private, like I have been here before. I felt like the parent sometimes as children were limited, over protected, constrained, not heard but seen. As the family, community & society were going through a stressful time in Ethiopian History, influenced by the pressure & negative political intervention of humanity in Africa, labelling Ethiopia & Africa as the poorest country & continent in the world. 

My genetics is not landlocked, nor limited to the label bestowed upon me, nor limited to my own fears & ignorance. Conservative in my upbringing, I was trained to live a spiritual life, disciplining the mind, body, and emotions to face challenges, tests, and failures, grounded in service to Gods universe.

Spiritual Journey

My faith has been a cornerstone. My spiritual upbringing instilled a sense of integrity, purpose, focus, and discipline, guiding me through life’s challenges & shaping my worldview to live in awareness, love and asking strategic questions in spirit at each phase of my life. Choosing solitude in challenging times, in faith, and thinking of failure as a learning opportunity to do my shadow work. Part of healing & growth, is being constantly tested,  learning lessons to overcome, failing, succeeding, & to mature into wisdom, unbecoming all that is not love.

I practiced fasting, prayer, taking care of nature, loving animals, service to less fortunate, eating vegan most of the year, being sharp, and meditation to be focused, disciplined & consistent at a young age. I explored world religions, from India’s temples to the River Jordan, but consciously choosing as an adult the Ethiopian Orthodox Church for its alignment of mind, body, and spirit, to be aware of ones emotion & be the love within to have a high vibe energy frequency in service in the world. 

Adolescence and Self-Discovery

By sixteen, I embraced self-sufficiency, guided by my father’s wisdom and life’s harsh truths. I learned about attachment, manipulation, societal control, religious dogmas, and finding my inner strength & voice. Thanks to my curiousity, Gods love, teachers, mentors, coaches, tutors, music, art & Oprah, I excelled academically, negotiated independence, and focused on my vision, supported by, books, a trusted village, sports, and a few close chosen friends. By highschool I was an only child, figuring out my vision for my future as I discovered self sufficiency was key. I knew intuitively what a supportive, loving & inspiring person felt like, as well as a lying, manipulative, fear lead, toxic, envious & violent person felt like. I chose Gods stillness within me in fasting, lent, vegan diet, nature, & solitude guide every decision, as I felt a power of tunning out the noise around me, tapping into truth, integrity & love.

Adulthood and Challenges

By twenty-five, I earned scholarships both in Ethiopia & U.S., I chose to visit both and choose to be in Ethiopia with my parents & friends, despite meeting an amazing partner in the US. Once I finished school & working as a management trainee to gain insights in banking, technology, and airline marketing, and got engaged, I chose to further my career & do my MBA  in the US, as I had started traveling from the age of 12years young. I learned that love, partnership, and relationships are complicated, and how resilient I am when faced with adversity. I started a new life, alone, relying on faith, my vision, empowered, and in solitude, learning that only I could manifest my vision. I chose the Pacific North West (PNW) to start life as my own person without family, as my spirit fell in love & at home. 

Living alone, in a new country, new continent, and with no one to save me, I realized your parents, siblings, family, your partner, community as well as societal & humanities institutions can take you so far, as I have always relied on Gods spiritual purpose. I was fearless, a sense of adventure, in faith, scared, ambitious, grieving, and with only $100 in my pocket. Most friends & family in my past were not there for me, for new ones to show up as my new path emerged in prayer, lent, meditation, focus, solitude, & discipline.

I encountered men in friendship & intimacy that healed, challenged, loved, tested, supported, reflected, triggered, evoked, & projected hidden parts of me to grow. Each time  forgiving myself, opening a dimension of indepth love, consciousness and awareness of my feminine divinity. In intimate relationships, partners and companionships I realized most are intimidated by my spiritual awakening, my hunger for life, my adventurous spirit, expectation of commitment, my capacity to love unconditionally as a refection of my spiritual light, my protective nature of my  being, having leading and taking care of myself all my life. Each partnership revealing insecurities in both my partners & myself. 

My feminine divinity is such that contrary to 'getting a man theory', men will do whatever it takes to align with a conscious woman that has surrendered to her spirit. Its upto a woman to heal & grow to unbecome all that is not love, in ancestors traps, trauma bond, painbodies & blocked energies as well as wounds. I loved being inlove, as every cell in my being becomes alive to be my best version at every stage of my life. I AM an equally yoked spiritual partner, committed to growth & healing to be part of a New Earth in service, private in who I permit in my space, mind, body, energy & emotion.

Career and Service

By thirty-five, I built a successful career, cared for my ailing father even upon death, and became the youngest COO of an international startup bank in Ethiopia. I celebrated my MBA graduation, silencing naysayers who felt I was not worthy and chose to betray my trust. I took a sabbatical year travelling Africa, Europe, the Americas, the middle East and Asia to birth Deldeyoch, my hands on Advising & developing operating processes business, transitioning me to become an entrepreneur in an emerging market. I shifted from finance to impactful driven work, promoting access to finance, innovation, digital economy, as well as assisting entrepreneurs scale up their African-made services, travelling solo in Africa for cultural exchange, & creating awareness about corporate social responsibilities,  self-sufficiency, and shifting mindsets to building capacity of the MSME ecosystem, to level the playing field in Africa from AidtoTrade. Meeting friends & breaking  bread over outdoor brunch with a global & local community that challenged,  inspired & motivated me in my path, inspired by the potential of Ethiopia and Africa as a whole.

Life and Realities in an Emerging Market

Choosing a career to do impact driven work, living a sustainable lifestyle, imposing change to those that are in trauma, and traveling Solo globally revealed stark realities: desperation, systemic barriers, attachments, lack of integrity, fear, insecurities, unfairness, and outdated institutions stuck in colonial times with false narratives about Ethiopia, the African continent, brown people and what it means being human.  I faced manipulation, pushback, violence, hate, bullying, extortion, and toxicity, as well as threats for being my authentic self, especially from family, partners, friends that could not relate to my truth. I had placed a powerful vision, purpose, & quest for myself, to create deldeyoch, be steadfast, sharp, & vigilant to find my tribe, support & be part of the change I seek in myself. Like my ancestors I seeked what was seeking me as I felt deep within, I was not told the full story. 

By 35yrs of age I achieved all my checklist in the world. I was 1% of woman globally blessed & fortunate enough to have health, wealth, empowered, curious, & self sufficient, as well as having been raised in one of the monetary poor countries during volatile times, to become a global success lead by God not man, as I believed in love, light, Gods will & trusted my instinct in private, nurtured, protected, loved & guided. I prayed, fasted, went through vegan diet lent, & took a year of solitude travel through Africa, America & Europe. I wanted to serve, be part of healing the world, be my spiritual purpose, but overwhelmed with a feeling that I did not know the full story, a part of me was gagged, clouded, blocked, trapped, ignorant, & separated. I created deldeyoch, to inner & reengineer, explore, experience, seek, experiment, experience, & choose projects I felt can bring access to capacity to the youth, schools, & young professionals. I knew finance & self sufficiency was my way out. I chose to do innovative workshops, literacy programs, & using technology to reach the unbanked in introducing inclusive financing. 

As Eckhart tolle said, in creating a new earth, if you think you are enlightened try living with family, so I did. I chose to live with my recent widowed conservative mother, that had a 30yr generational difference with me, and found my empowered lifestyle as a woman a blasphemy. Like most woman that are supporters of the patriarchy in survival & for social acceptance.  I chose to live in an ancient society, and where culture is being dictated by outdated institutions, where most choose to marry, arrange marriages, & have children out of a need to belong, be accepted, safety, a reproductive timeline, & financial stability. Convinced that the only way of survival, belonging and being accepted in a society, family, community and to have power is for a woman to look for a mans safety, and the man looking for the most healthy woman to have his children. 

The womans role was training to "get a man" like its a burden to feel enough alone, or bare children out of a selfish need to beat a timeline, and race for our worth to be stuck in a circle of social obligations to belong. Most in fear, shamed & attacked labelled, bullied & threatened as a spinster, ostracized, bullied, and invalidated for knowing how powerful, whole and enough being human is. I found that bizzare throughout my life, as the more I focused on myself in highschool, university, career, & travel, the more I attracted my tribe, men & my friends that chose my lifestyle. And the more you see the truth about the illusion of humanity & its outdated institutions, & the role you play, the more you realize you need to unmasked, become authentic, & interconnect to only choose Gods love, truth, ethics & light within. Suddenly you see through peoples mask, label & fake emotions as well as those that have mastered in human behaviour, habits, rituals, emotional intelligence, social intelligence & the art of hijacking, manipulation, mind games, & cult like bullying as emotional vultures, energy vampires & pathalogical liars, to brand countries, continents, regions, family, community, & societies against eachother, to create chaos & destruct the mind to control, compete & for egoic driven power.

I believe service & change starts from home, so began my healing, growth and most challenging yet profoundly enlightening lessons. Our ancestors took us as far as they can, our families provided the best safety net, and our parents did the best they could, but in forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, love, and forceful negotiations, evolution is inevitable. Whether with advice like my fathers, fear based like my mothers, or striving for independence from the west, I took notes from all directions, allowing me to have a balanced look at the world, but inevitably allowing life to teach me lessons of who I am to become in spirit. 

As an advisor at work & life, I bridged global expertise with local realities, training leaders and embracing failure as feedback, to move past my fears, insecurity & doubt. I aimed to serve in whatever capacity moving our mindset from aid, attachments, fear, insecurity, savior complex, need for validations, to trade, self-sufficiency, being sharp, fostering sustainable growth, detaching and moving in integrity, sharp, aware, conscious and mindful. In service I unbecome, and unchained everything that was not love, embracing my shadow, darkness, insecurity, anger, fear & pain that shows up, with empathy, taking responsibility, & apathy of what happened to humanity to have such disparity. I cannot control others, but I can learn the lessons that push me forward.

What happened to us? How do we create a society with checks and balances? What does it mean to build a utopian New Earth? 

These questions drive me as I continue to serve, heal, and grow in the continent that incepted & raised me.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us” - Joseph campbell

Follow up on part two...

https://www.deldeyoch.com/2025/01/think-like-african-woman-resilience.html?m=1

By Dutchess@deldeyoch