Think Like an Awakened African Woman: Resilience. Faith. Self-Awareness (Part one)

Part one

We are transient beings, chosen to heal & restore. From birth, we are interconnected, our lives a miracle. Raised by a village, I learned to align my mind & body to serve my spirit, embracing integrity.

Growing up in Ethiopia, I thrived in an international school, embracing education, sports, & friendships. At home, I felt neglected, constantly compared to my older sister, constrained by outdated institutions that did not serve me. Drawn to nature, creativity, joy, laughter, art, & spirituality, I rebelled against rigid expectations, finding solace in my inner world in private, like I have been here before.

Spiritual Journey

My faith has been a cornerstone. My spiritual upbringing instilled a sense of integrity, purpose, guiding me through life’s challenges and shaping my worldview to live in awareness, naivety, and asking strategic questions in spirit at each phase of my life. Choosing solitude in challenging times, in faith, and thinking of failure as a learning opportunity to do my shadow work. Part of healing & growth, is being constantly tested,  learning lessons to overcome, failing, succeeding, & to mature into wisdom.

I practiced fasting, prayer, taking care of nature, loving animals, service to less fortunate, eating vegan most of the year, being sharp, and meditation to be focused, disciplined & consistent at a young age. I explored world religions, from India’s temples to the River Jordan, but consciously choosing as an adult the Ethiopian Orthodox Church for its alignment of mind, body, and spirit, to be aware of ones emotion & be the love within to have a high vibe energy frequency in service in the world. 

Adolescence and Self-Discovery

By sixteen, I embraced self-sufficiency, guided by my father’s wisdom and life’s harsh truths. I learned about attachment, manipulation, societal control, religious dogmas, and finding my inner strength & voice. I excelled academically, negotiated independence, and focused on my vision, supported by mentors like Oprah, books, a trusted village, sports, and a few close friends.

Adulthood and Challenges

By twenty-five, I earned scholarships both in Ethiopia & U.S., I chose to visit both and choose to be in Ethiopia with my parents & friends, despite meeting an amazing partner in the US. Once I finished school & working as a management trainee to gain insights in banking, technology, and airline marketing, and got engaged, I chose to further my career & do my MBA  in the US. I learned that love, partnership, and relationships are complicated, and how resilient I am when faced with adversity. I started a new life, alone, relying on faith, my vision, empowered, and in solitude, learning that only I could manifest my vision. I chose the Pacific North West (PNW) to start life as my own person without family, as my spirit fell in love & at home. 

Living alone, in a new country, new continent, and with no one to save me, I realized your parents, siblings, family, your partner, community as well as societal & humanities institutions can take you so far, as I have always relied on Gods spiritual purpose. I was fearless, a sense of adventure, in faith, scared, ambitious, grieving, and with only $100 in my pocket. Most friends & family in my past were not there for me, for new ones to show up as my new path emerged in prayer, lent, meditation, focus, & discipline.

I encountered men in friendship & intimacy that healed, loved, supported and grew together  allowing eachother to heal, being triggered, evoked, reflected, loved & projecting. Each time  forgiving myself, opening a dimension of indepth love, consciousness and awareness of my feminine divinity. In intimate relationships, partners and companionships I realized most are intimidated by my spiritual awakening, my hunger for life, my adventurous spirit, expectation of commitment, my capacity to love unconditionally as a refection of my spiritual light, my protective nature of my  being having taken care of myself all my life, revealing insecurities in both my partners and myself. I loved being inlove, as every cell in my being becomes alive to be my best version I patiently await an equally yoked spiritual partner, committed to growth and healing to be part of a New Earth in service.

Career and Service

By thirty-five, I built a successful career, cared for my ailing father even upon death, and became the youngest COO of an international startup bank in Ethiopia. I celebrated my MBA graduation, silencing naysayers who felt I was not worthy and chose to betray my trust. I took a sabbatical year travelling Africa, Europe, the Americas, the middle East and Asia to birth Deldeyoch, my hands on Advising & developing operating processes business, transitioning me to become an entrepreneur. I shifted from finance to impactful driven work, promoting access to finance, innovation, digital economy, as well as assisting entrepreneurs scale up their African-made services, travelling solo in Africa for cultural exchange, & creating awareness about corporate social responsibilities,  self-sufficiency, and shifting mindsets to building capacity of the MSME ecosystem, to level the playing field in Africa from AidtoTrade. Meeting friends & breaking  bread over outdoor brunch with a global & local community that challenged,  inspired & motivated me in my path, inspired by the potential of Ethiopia and Africa as a whole.

Life in Ethiopia and Realities

Living and working in Ethiopia, and traveling throughout Africa revealed stark realities: desperation, systemic barriers, attachments, lack of integrity, fear, insecurities, and outdated institutions stuck in time. I faced manipulation, violence, hate, bullying, and toxicity, as well as threats for being my authentic self especially from family & friends in my past,  but remained steadfast, sharp, and vigilant. As Eckhart tolle said, in creating a new earth, if you think you are enlightened try living with family, so I did. I chose to live with my recent widowed conservative mother, that had a 30yr generational difference with me, and found my empowered lifestyle as a woman a blasphemy. Like most woman that are supporters of the patriarchy in survival & for social acceptance.  In an ancient society, and where culture is being dictated by outdated institutions, most choose to marry, arrange marriages, & have children out of a need to belong, be accepted, safety, reproductive timeline, & financial stability, as love comes in time. As more 

I believe service & change starts from home, so began my healing, growth and most challenging yet profoundly enlightening lessons. Our ancestors took us as far as they can, our families providwoed the best safety net, and our parents did the best they could, but in forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, love, and forceful negotiations, evolution is inevitable. Whether with advice like my fathers, fear based like my mothers, or striving for independence from the west, I took notes from all directions, allowing me to have a balanced look at the world, but inevitably allowing life to teach me lessons of who I am to become in spirit. 

As an advisor at work & life, I bridged global expertise with local realities, training leaders and embracing failure as feedback, to move past my fears, insecurity & doubt. I aimed to serve in whatever capacity moving our mindset from aid, attachments, fear, insecurity, savior complex, need for validations, to trade, self-sufficiency, being sharp, fostering sustainable growth, detaching and moving in integrity, sharp, aware, conscious and mindful. In service I unbecome, and unchained everything that was not love, embracing my shadow, darkness, insecurity, anger, fear & pain that shows up, with empathy, taking responsibility, & apathy of what happened to humanity to have such disparity. I cannot control others, but I can learn the lessons that push me forward.

What happened to us? How do we create a society with checks and balances? What does it mean to build a utopian New Earth? 

These questions drive me as I continue to serve, heal, and grow in the continent that incepted & raised me.

Continued in part two..

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us” - Joseph campbell

By Dutchess@deldeyoch